How God's Grace showed me the way to Grace
Just about six years ago I went through something that at the time felt like the worse thing that had ever happened to me, you know until my husband died suddenly and I found out I had melanoma. I lost the job I had for 14 years, which left me feeling rejected with no control, left my family vulnerable, and put me in the position of looking for a job for the first time in 14 years.
I had allowed too much of who I was to be wrapped up in that job. The environment was toxic and had affected me in very negative ways. In my time off, I dug into trusting God to take care of us and provide for us. I prayed extensively to find the right job. I got a precious gift of time to spend at home with my two year old and to invest in some friends during that time.
At three weeks unemployed, I started to find some good prospects for jobs, but none of them worked out. Then I saw the posting for my dream job. It seemed too good to be true. It was less than half a mile from my house. It was doing marketing and project management, a combination of my degree and what I was good at in my old job. The posting was fun and for a Christian business, which felt like a potential breathe of fresh air after the negative environment I had been in for so long.
I wrote an awesome cover letter. I prayed about it and asked others for prayer. I killed the interview. I killed the second interview and then went over the top with awesomeness in sending my references. I know, so humble. Then I waited. I thought it was mine for sure. I thought for sure this was God providing a way and his plan. I was so confident in this that I was completely crushed when I got the call six years ago that said, sorry we decided to go with someone else.
As with all big life events and learning periods this one feels both like yesterday and a lifetime ago.
You know you read the bible verses and you see the memes that say the things like, God isn't saying no, he is saying not right now. You really can't get that until you can look back six year later and see how God's plan, played out perfectly. His provision knew what I needed when I needed it. You guys he knew that four years later I would go through the most excruciating, trying time of my life. He knew I would lose Justin and what I would need to follow his plan in that time.
I can look back and see exactly how that worked out as he planned. I couldn't at the time, of course, I was crushed and felt like I had no ability to listen to God's leading. I didn't mistrust his plan. I mistrusted my ability to see it. I questioned how I could so terribly misunderstand what was playing out.
So, since I didn't understand where this had gone wrong, I reached out to the person I had interviewed with and thought I would be working for. He reached back out to me and told me that he wanted to help me find a job. Who does that? Here's the first thing God knew I needed and he provided it. He gave me a professional, Christian friend / mentor who believed in me. This person who didn't hire me became a listening ear, a job consultant, and a professional and Christian influence. This friend helped me find the job that I started only four weeks after not getting the job I wanted.
This friend, let's call him Dave, continued to reach out and encourage me, even when the new job turned out to not be all that I wanted it to be. Less than four years after I started that job, my husband died suddenly while we were with family in Kansas.
Here's the other thing. If I had gotten that dream job, I could have been caught in the midst of a controversy at work in the middle of losing my husband and could have also lost my job. I feel that God saved me from going through that also, when he said not right now, and he provided for me again.
Then I want you to see how this all comes together. Six years later after Dave didn't hire me, I am working the job I didn't get in 2013. I don't get to work for Dave and I don't have the same title I would have had then, but I am doing that job. I got my dream job. I didn't get it the way I thought I would. God said yes, but he said not right now. He actually knows more than I do. He is in control for a reason and I am comforted by this. Dave is still my friend and I still get his encouraging words and his wise counsel. When my memories on facebook show me the day six years ago that I didn't get the job of my dreams, I smile now. I know that he is in control and knew exactly what he was doing.
When I was offered this job four months after my husband died, I was asked if I needed time to think about the offer. I said, no, I know God is in control. I let go of what I thought I knew and he got me exactly where he wanted me to be at exactly the right time.
I had allowed too much of who I was to be wrapped up in that job. The environment was toxic and had affected me in very negative ways. In my time off, I dug into trusting God to take care of us and provide for us. I prayed extensively to find the right job. I got a precious gift of time to spend at home with my two year old and to invest in some friends during that time.
At three weeks unemployed, I started to find some good prospects for jobs, but none of them worked out. Then I saw the posting for my dream job. It seemed too good to be true. It was less than half a mile from my house. It was doing marketing and project management, a combination of my degree and what I was good at in my old job. The posting was fun and for a Christian business, which felt like a potential breathe of fresh air after the negative environment I had been in for so long.
I wrote an awesome cover letter. I prayed about it and asked others for prayer. I killed the interview. I killed the second interview and then went over the top with awesomeness in sending my references. I know, so humble. Then I waited. I thought it was mine for sure. I thought for sure this was God providing a way and his plan. I was so confident in this that I was completely crushed when I got the call six years ago that said, sorry we decided to go with someone else.
As with all big life events and learning periods this one feels both like yesterday and a lifetime ago.
You know you read the bible verses and you see the memes that say the things like, God isn't saying no, he is saying not right now. You really can't get that until you can look back six year later and see how God's plan, played out perfectly. His provision knew what I needed when I needed it. You guys he knew that four years later I would go through the most excruciating, trying time of my life. He knew I would lose Justin and what I would need to follow his plan in that time.
I can look back and see exactly how that worked out as he planned. I couldn't at the time, of course, I was crushed and felt like I had no ability to listen to God's leading. I didn't mistrust his plan. I mistrusted my ability to see it. I questioned how I could so terribly misunderstand what was playing out.
So, since I didn't understand where this had gone wrong, I reached out to the person I had interviewed with and thought I would be working for. He reached back out to me and told me that he wanted to help me find a job. Who does that? Here's the first thing God knew I needed and he provided it. He gave me a professional, Christian friend / mentor who believed in me. This person who didn't hire me became a listening ear, a job consultant, and a professional and Christian influence. This friend helped me find the job that I started only four weeks after not getting the job I wanted.
This friend, let's call him Dave, continued to reach out and encourage me, even when the new job turned out to not be all that I wanted it to be. Less than four years after I started that job, my husband died suddenly while we were with family in Kansas.
Here's the other thing. If I had gotten that dream job, I could have been caught in the midst of a controversy at work in the middle of losing my husband and could have also lost my job. I feel that God saved me from going through that also, when he said not right now, and he provided for me again.
Then I want you to see how this all comes together. Six years later after Dave didn't hire me, I am working the job I didn't get in 2013. I don't get to work for Dave and I don't have the same title I would have had then, but I am doing that job. I got my dream job. I didn't get it the way I thought I would. God said yes, but he said not right now. He actually knows more than I do. He is in control for a reason and I am comforted by this. Dave is still my friend and I still get his encouraging words and his wise counsel. When my memories on facebook show me the day six years ago that I didn't get the job of my dreams, I smile now. I know that he is in control and knew exactly what he was doing.
When I was offered this job four months after my husband died, I was asked if I needed time to think about the offer. I said, no, I know God is in control. I let go of what I thought I knew and he got me exactly where he wanted me to be at exactly the right time.
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